Acceptance

Pennsic

I have just returned from an event where more than 10,000 people gather as friends and family and every one gets to be exactly the person they really are, in an atmosphere of strangeness - interests, intellectualism, geeks, warriors, historians, drunkards, artists, performers, and anachronists of all forms.

My days consisted mainly of napping, drinking, eating too much meat, laughing with new and old friends, dressing up, dressing down, and staying up till dawn to follow the rhythm of drums and melody. I danced so much this year that by the second week my legs and shoulders were putty, and my muscles screamed at me as passing melodies dragged me toward them. There are always drums, but this year was especially melody filled. I fell in love again with the accordion, and know that I must, MUST dance to more of it.... but this year I discovered how amazing it is to improv to trumpet taqsim ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taqsim ) and the viol (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viol)

They are such amazing instruments played alone, but together they sung to me and made me find and lose myself over and over. I was blessed to be able to dance to them, and even more blessed to have the musicians themselves as part of my camp.

In the past year I've been listening to a lot of music that moves me but also makes me frustrated because I am physically incapable of moving to it the way that I want to. I haven't been trained in ballet since the age of 5, or any structured form that would train me to toss myself through the air while kicking my legs out and spinning - that sort of thing. But this music was different. This music made my heart sing and made me move the ways that I CAN and beyond. I found the real dancer inside myself and I can finally accept what I am, and know that it's true.

Sappy I know... but there's something to be said for finally getting it. I always come around the long way.